Hiding Under a Bushell

It's been a long time since I've posted in this blog. Too long in fact.

I've recently just received a great deal of healing and my heart is overflowing again.

I'm starting to write again. Starting to share my heart and pour back into others. Funny enough, loving on people is the very thing the Lord used to heal me. I had been hurt...by church, circumstances, people, doctrine, COVID, left with no choice but to resign at my workplace after just relocating my family from Ohio to North Carolina...but mostly by the expectations I placed on others. You see, I've allowed how I view people and how they view me to be the measure of how I loved.

Let me explain...

In ministry settings, the Lord has used me in a teaching role. I love partnering with the Lord to release new wine revelation to others. I want others to share in the same freedoms I've come to enjoy through the revelations I've encountered about our identity in Christ....our Sonship, Oneness, Authority and Power through Him.

But what happens when people love you for your gifting but reject how you've come to operate in them?

People love their doctrine more than they love behind-the-veil-relationship. It turns into a scenario where people want you to operate in the box they have God in and then shun you when you color outside of their lines. Their wineskins get stretched, they get scared, and wine spills all over the floor. This is how churches split and the body gets divided. ( I'm not entirely opposed by either of these outcomes if people grow closer in their relationship with God. A little shakeup is sometimes what the doctor ordered.)

But it hurts when we go through seasons like this. We try to not allow offense to rest in our hearts. In the attempt to keep out offense we can ignore the pain. This is where we lie to ourselves. We can keep a head-knowledge of victory because we know to walk and talk victory...and underneath it all there can be real pain...and if its not acknowledged and dealt with it will rob you blind of your capacity to love. Bitterness starts to take a small foothold and then before you know it...you don't care...you couldn't care less.

THIS IS ALL SOUL-ISH BULL. It is the souls attempt to self-preserve itself at the expense of loving as He loves...unto death. And it robs us of one of the greatest truths...the key to resurrection life.

Phillipians 3:9-11 My “righteousness” will be his, based on the faithfulness of Jesus Christ—the very righteousness that comes from God. And I continually long to know the wonders of Jesus more fully and to experience the overflowing power of his resurrection working in me. I will be one with him in his sufferings and I will be one with him in his death. Only then will I be able to experience complete oneness with him in his resurrection from the realm of death.

When I read this passage I learned the most impactful truth. You have to lean into the sword to love others. You have to feel the full measure of pain...and love through it to release resurrection life. There is no burying the pain. It will cheat you of the resurrection power bestowed in being one with Him in his death. You have to lay your life down willingly to take it up again. You have to embrace the breaking of bones to experience the rich marrow inside.

Our pearls aren't for everyone....but His/Our love is.